Wow! January has managed to whizz by without anyone's notice! I can't believe we're actually in the 2nd month of 2009 already. SHIT!
9 years ago, I was facing mama's death on one hand and my independence on the other. Where has the time really gone to? This year marks the 9th year anniversary of the girls. 9 years of the best friendship we all could ever have from going through relationships, to breakups, to pregnancies, to getting into medical school, to exams, to finding that perfect house, to having that first kiss, that first touch, to ermm...everything. hahahaha...my life today wouldn't be same if it wasn't for this bunch of girls. And to them I owe my life.
Although we're all over the world now, I'm sure those memories are carried in our hearts forever. Somehow I find myself asking if I regretted coming back home after those 5 years? I probably did not regret coming home, but it was sure hard to leave my 'home'- a place I built for myself. Hmm...what if I never did leave, how different would I be today? For starters, I don't know if IL still be with Mark. Although we settle for the excuse that it was the long distance that tore us apart, I'm sure there were other underlying issues.
But from that break up, I truly learnt the meaning of a heart ache (the kind where u literally feel as tho someone ripped out ur heart and tore it into a million pieces), truly learning the meaning of 'not knowing what you have till its gone', and learning the meaning of love. I'm sure that there are more things about love to learn but I definately learnt alot from Mark. And I hope he learnt alot from me too.
Sometimes IL find his emails and read them, and although some of them were angry emails, all I can get out from them now is love. How could I have felt so much love without knowing it then? I just knew that he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I still wish for that but it ain't going to happen. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to feel love the same way I did with Mark and probably that's the truth. I will find love again and it will be different. Mark was Mark and this new guy (who ever he might be) will be the new guy.
Ahh...life! Whoever thought it'd be this hard. hahaha..I wish I could just be young and have carefree days.
I'm just reminiscing and can't believe how fast time flies. So much to learn with soo little time.Wait! back on the topic of love, sometimes I don't understand how people can jump from relationship to relationship. Are they really in love with that person or do they just need attention from the relationship? hmmm I wonder.
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