lost...

I have been so out of it lately..reason being is that I am starting a new job come monday. No more working from home. This little ladee now has a proper office down town in a little cubicle with a view of Bugis. I 'll be working as a presales coordinator..(when I do get more info about what I'm supposed to do I'll update you guys). The reason of changing jobs is because with this new job, im getting almost double the pay..So its pretty good and also this company is an American company with offices all around the world..so I'm hoping that in due time I could relocate to thier office in North Sydney..*fingers cross*

(time to bitch)...okay ever since I've been back, one persistant question keeps being asked by almost everyone I meet. "Why did you come back? Don't you like Sydney?"...Well being the diplomatic me and the filial daughter, I had to say.."oh coz I think now is the time to look after my parents, so I decided to come back and work here, to be closer to them". At first, I even got myself to believe that that was true. but now..not so anymore. I never expected me to work in Sydney or Australia for that matter. I did want to come back home and work and maybe move to Canada for a while. But after much thought and reflections I realised that Australia is my home too. The other day I met up with Caroline(Mark's sis -she was here for a week) and started talking to her. I told her that my trip back to Sydney this time around made me realise alot of things. Firstly, I realise that Sydney can NEVER be a place of holiday for me. I think I've built a life there to treat it as a holiday country. I know that place TOO much and TOO well. Sydney was my home during the time that I was writing my university chapter so much so it has become part of me, part of my life. The other thing that I realise is that my life (my friends) are all in Sydney. I can never NEVER find friends like those there. We have shared so much through all these years that we've become more of a family than friends. I've realised the differences between good friends and friends that become your sisters. I do have good friends here in Singapore, they are the ones that you spend time with in the weekends for a catch up over coffee or to go shopping with, basically just for social activities. But those in Sydney are the ones that you can depend your life on. They are the ones that would drop everything just at your call..I love them to bits and I can't imagine life with out them.

So back to what I was saying..now after much thought about where I want to be. I began to wonder why did I come back here? The reason I ran away was to get away from the folks. I needed to break away and live. Then coming back here I thought, things would have changed. They would have realised that I'm all grown up now with a better control of my life..but boy was I wrong!! They're still treating me like a 12yr old. So god help me please, let my parents relax. I feel so trapped here...ARGH! I do get my freedom but at the same time I'm still trapped in alot of ways.

NEways..its been such a long week. I need a break. So to keep me going, I tell myself that one day all this would be worth it..